Well. It’s just that time in the show, folks. I want to hear you. I want to understand you and feel you and be near you. Who are you? Do you read my pieces out of desire? Necessity? Boredom, intrigue, curiosity? Do you visit often or peruse once in a blue moon, hoping to read something that makes your skin tickle and eyes bulge? My handy dandy Wordpress Statistics tell me there are at least a handful of you out there who actually pull up this site once in a while. You cant hide!
It was the summer of ’97. I had just finished drying my tears filled with memories of Weibel Wildcat runs, apprehension for the uncomfortable and defining period of my life people kept calling Junior High, and the realization that my innocence would perhaps be forever lost. We spent our days under the blithe California sun sneaking into the neighbor’s neglected backyard concocting stories of the witch and her cauldron of a pool filled with all the potions and magical artifacts that would one day blow up in her face and avenge all her wrongdoings. In the afternoon I would go to gymnastics class, frantically changing in the back of Trooper, the red Volvo station wagon that kept chugging along due to its “sturdy German upbringing,” get to class 5 minutes late, huffing and puffing, having missed stretching, with my leotard inside out, and my grips mysteriously misplaced.
My father is running, swimming, and biking a triathlon. My father. A triathlon.
But could I? Could I push the pause button on every waking moment I’ve spent over the last 10 years to build into a successfully happy entrepreneur who makes an impact on the world so I could spend the next 18 years building someone else into a successfully happy young person who makes the impacts I could never make? And if I only half committed to both parts of my new life, would either one thrive to its full potential? Or would they both struggle in the wake of my lack of attention and commitment.
I come away from today with a spark lit inside me that screams at the top of its lungs, “This is our moment! Carpe Diem.” It is possible to spark change and to be that change if we can harness the skills that each of us have been endowed with and capitalize on those complex understandings of the world to solve the most difficult questions out there. Just how much are we willing to commit to this cause, the cause of the people in this world, to seize the passion within us and solve the puzzles that lie in absolute disarray?
Who is more human? The glazed woman in the dark shades whispering, “Don’t give in. They are better than this, they will never learn otherwise,” suffering from the disappointment that engulfs her. Or the lady with the dreadlocks and canvas tote doling out cookies to the kids whenever they pass, bringing unabashed smiles to their faces. What lies behind our small gestures of humanity and generosity? Are we making the world a better place or setting it further back in attempt to propel ones own self perception up a notch?
What is this Hallmark definition of love we are all searching for? Is it not simply trust and faith in another person enough to give yourself wholly to them, no matter the circumstance? Why is the couple’s love not just as real as the high school sweethearts’, who met at Winter Ball, danced under the stars, and waited until the perfect moment for their first kiss.
I realized the answer, which perhaps is the answer to an even bigger question in life, is that we always want what we cant have. The moment we are offered too much of a good thing, we spit it out and think “Oh vile substance! Be gone!” The moment we realize something amazing and beautiful and unthinkable is available at our beck and call, it sheds itself of all fascination. Does that moment change over time? Does maturity wash it away with age and bring back never ending appreciation for all that is great? Or does our threshold for greatness simply diminish as we become jaded and realize greatness can be found in even the most minusculeof things. Perhaps that is what the old couple feels, interlocking hands while they sit on the bench, their insouciant gaze into the world bringing a sagacious smile to their face as they observe the little things in life.
I would be honored to become part of this selective group of people who make up the young trail blazers of the world’s future. The application is due on December 7th, and if you are reading this blog, you are clearly interested in my life and what brought me here. In which case, you may also be interested in how you can get involved. I urge you to check out the website and determine if you are up to the challenge!
Under the street lamp her green eyes were jewels of desire, wet with light. Her lips widened in a half-smile that was mine- a moment that was mine alone- and the beggar, my heart, began to hope and plead.